fuck warnings, this is craptendo
The Nintendo Sexii is a console. It is a common platform purchased by horny gamers. It was made after the Wii U blew up in an accident and Nintendo wanted to appeal to the mature crowd. When you start it up, Anaconda plays.
List of Games
Super Mario Series
- Alone in the Observatory: Mario enters the observatory, where Rosalina invites him to the bedroom.They have sex. (In the bedroom room?)
- Mario and Luigi Wet Dream Team: Luigi dreams about Waluigi ;)
- Alone in Peach’s Castle: Mario bangs Peach on her home floor. Toad watches while having some fun on his own. ;3
- Mario Kart Dildo: All the cars look like dildos and have features that look like a woman’s genitals.
- New Super Mario Boner: Mario must make it through the levels while attempting to not have a boner. This is quite a challenge, as the levels feature an abundance of things designed to do exactly that.
- Mario Party 69 - Mario "competes" with his friends as they race across dildo-shaped game boards and play extremely sexual minigames.
- Mario Party Threesome: The player picks three characters then uses the dildo-like controller to make them have sex with each other. To win, the player needs to get all three to orgasm the quickest.
- Mario Masturbation: There is a competition between the Mario characters to see who can orgasm the fastest. Recommended to mash the buttons with your dick.
- Rosalina the Hooker: Rosalina finds herself as a hooker because all Power Stars have been gone. Apparently, all clients pay their sex with Power Stars.
- Captain Toad: Booty Hunter: You're Toad, & you have to solve puzzles to get some of that sweet booty.
- Super Mario Odyssey DLC series:
- Metro Fuck: After completing various quests for Pauline involving finding sex toys for her hidden across the Metro Kingdom, she opens a secret room in the City Hall and invites Mario in, where he can have sex with her.
- Fuck Peach!: After finding Peach in every kingdom and getting a Power Moon, Peach returns to the Mushroom Kingdom. There, she decides to travel the world again, and Mario must find her in each kingdom once more. This time, however, she appears in slutty clothes in every kingdom, and Mario can earn another Power Moon by having sex and making her orgasm in each kingdom.
- Kirby 69: The Diamond Dildos: Join Kirby on a new horny adventure to collect the diamond dildos! Ribbon and Adeline return, more mature than ever! Kirby gains the ability to blow, as well as suck.
- Kirby Threesome Deluxe: Kirby engages in a threesome with King Dedede and Meta Knight.
Donkey Kong series
- The Banana Hoard: A survival-horror game, play as Diddy Kong as he sneaks around DK Island to avoid the rabid Donkey Kong. Whenever you find a banana, stick your monkey dick into it and earn a point.
- Donkey Kong Country: Donkey Kong's Konkey Dong - Donkey Kong's konkey dong starts talking to him and gets extremely aroused by this.
- Metroid: Ero Mission: Samus is running around naked and wants to get fucked by random alien creatures.
Legend of Zelda Series
- The Legend of Zelda: Tingle’s Loving Adventure: Tingle agrees to give Link directions to the “Master Sword”, but Link must first give Tingle a “present”. Link’s dick is tingling as he does this.
- Fuck-Zero: Instead of super race car hover things, you have two guys fucking. Momentum is built up by thrusting your dick in and out.
Fire Emblem Series
- Fire Emblem Undressing: Features a new generation of sexier warriors. S Supports feature sex (can be straight or homo). Summer Scramble DLC Pack features naked fanservice. Hot Spring Scramble for the less sexy ones.
Super Smash Bros. Series
- Super Smash Bros: Waifu Edition: The player controls Lucina, Rosalina, among other sexii females from the Super Smash Bros. series and watches them as they have lesbian sex (sounds hot to me, not just joking this time).
- Super Smash Bros.: Ultimate Penetration: Mewtwo’s tail is now on his front.
- Super Smash Bros. 69: The Smash Bros have an alcoholic party (Nintendo is not responsible for STDs, sudden pregnancy, death, or loss of virginity).
- Pokemon Straight Version: In the straight version, you can pick your gender, and then the game will feature naked people of the opposite gender exclusively.
- Pokemon Homo Version: In the homo version, you can pick your gender, and then the game will feature naked people of the same gender exclusively.
- PokéPark Sexii: Pikachu’s Erotica: In the latest PokéPark installment, Pikachu has to save PokéPark by mating with as much Pokémon as possible and “befriend” them. In other words: Pikachu must become the greatest pimp in the land to save the world.
- Pokémon Bedroom: Have sex with the sexiest kinds Pokémon ever, or if you're not into that, with the sexiest Trainers ever. Supports Oculus Rift for some reason.
- Spermtoon: Features more of an interactive experience involving the tentacles. Male inklings can use their tentacles as penises to have sex with the various female characters, and female inklings can use theirs for self-penetration. 4v4 matches involve tasks such as tying up the other players with tentacles; score is counted in orgasms. Single-player mode involves a quest to rescue Callie and Marie, and after this is accomplished, the player can have a threesome with them.
- Spermtoon DLC series:
- Off the Hooker: The player is invited to a special concert by Off the Hook. However, the player is the only attendee and learns it was actually an attempt to set up a threesome. The player must cause both Pearl and Marina to orgasm one time, and then afterwards, they must make them orgasm simultaneously to progress. The player may perform a variety of sexual acts on them.
Star Fox series
- Star Fuck 69: Fox tries to fuck everything he finds. He catches Dinosaur HIV.
- Star Fuck Assault: Fox meets Krystal in the control room of the Great Fox. They decide to have a little… friendly competition.
- Star Fox Wormhole: Fox flies into a wormhole, which turns out to be Krystal’s vagina.
- Punch-Out!!: Aggressive Sex: Little Mac joins the ring again, but this time, he is in an interesting position… or many. Instead of pure boxing, spectators will be watching two men fuck each other. The one to fall unconscious first loses.
Animal Crossing Series
- Animal Cross-Cross-Crossing: Your goal as mayor of your new town is to be a pimp. Get as much villagers in your town and let them do sexual activities while designing a good home for yourself (also, your assistant Isabelle has a crush on you and you end up fucking her in the pussy which is ironic because she’s a dog).
Rhythm Heaven series
- Sexii Rhythm Heaven: All characters are replaced with realistic human-like creatures and each minigame portrays a different sex position. The player must learn and perform each position in order to get to the next minigame.
- Rhythm Seven Minutes in Heaven: All rhythm minigames are about making out in closets… for some reason.
- Rhythm Heaven Fever X- The Game: A remake of Rhythm Heaven Fever, but with lots of sex shoehorned in.
- Yoshi Touch and Go: Yoshi goes to touch some things... those things ;)
- Yoshi’s Island: 18+ Edition: The exact same story as Yoshi’s Island, except Yoshi is a girl, Kamek is now a pedophile who wants to fuck the babies, and all enemies have the hots for Yoshi.
Sonic the Hedgehog series
- Sonic: Furry Edition: Sonic’s games get so bad he resorts to furry porn.
- Sonic the Hedgehog: Fastest Thing Alive: Sonic decides to set the world record for fastest hedgehog mating session. However, Sonic needs your help to make blue babies.
- Sonic: Even Faster: Sonic needs to see how fast he can fuck someone else. The world record is 69 fucks per second. Can you beat it?
- Xenoblade Swordbanging: The player controls Shulk as he masturbates. The player must hide their boner from anyone who tries to bust Shulk while masturbating. If Shulk is caught, then the player must have sex with the character who caught Shulk masturbating. May include gay sex.
- Xenoblade Buster: Behold the power of the Monado! Shulk’s Monado is always in Buster mode, if you know what I mean. Go fuck your party members including, but not limited to, Fiora and Reyn. You’ll be really feeling it!
Duck Hunt series
- Dick Hunt: You are a female hunter and you and your trusty dog have to hunt men in order to have an orgy. But if you miss, you’re forced to get fucked by the dog instead.
- Fuck Cunt: You play as a man and you use the zapper to hit a woman's vagina. The more times you hit right in the middle, the more points you get.
Metal Gear Series
- Really Solid Snake: Snake just finished his mission at Shadow Moses, and he’s feeling really solid. Sneak around the facility and avoid being seen as Snake jacks off. After you finish, find some way to clean up the “Liquid Snake”.
- Rayman Orgies: Rayman finds the Glade of Dreams under attack of the Magician’s robots and minions. He has to organize orgies in the many lands in order to save the Glade.
- Rayman Lesbians: After a 100-year sleep, the Magician and his five clones have kidnapped Barbara and her sisters for sexual purposes. Since they’re not straight, Rayman has to save Barbara and friends and undo all the other doom the Magician brought.
Nintendo All-Stars Series
- Nintendo All-Stars: Gay Edition: This game features only men from the Nintendo series, all of whom are nude. The game appeals mainly to gay men and straight women.
- Nintendo All-Stars: Lesbian Edition: The game features only women from the Nintendo series, all of whom are nude. The game is targeted at lesbians, straight men and children at ages of seven.
- Sexii Pingu: Pingu and Robbie rob porno shops in Random City, and Steve from Blue's Clues must stop him by annihilating him using his giant cock full of semen.
- JonTron and Bubsy’s Gay Orgy: JonTron and Bubsy have a blowjob in a bath of Dex Dogtective’s semen
- Gay Grumps: Jon and Arin spend several nights in bed. Don’t get caught by Suzy or it’s game over.
Five Nights at Freddy’s
- Five Nights at Freddy’s 69: The night guard must yiff all the animatronics.
- Foxy Simulator 1987: Become Foxy and relive the Bite of ‘87! Includes skullfucking the Purple Man, biting off young children’s penises, and last but not least… Animatronics fucking each other in their metallic assholes. However, watch out for Mike Schmit, the crazy old man who lives next door, as he has a taser that can disable animatronics. Are you ready for Freddy?
- Give Gifts, Give Life - Seduce the Purple Guy.
- Five Night In Freddy: Fuck Freddy for five nights without stopping. Other animatronics will try to peep and you’ll have to throw didlos and condoms at the control panel to hopefully stop them.
- 34 Nights At Freddy’s: You’re a night guard in a pizzeria and you decide to look at some FNaF rule 34. You have to finish masturbating by the end of the night. If an animatronic appears, you better put away your boner and switch the web page, or else they’ll reset your fapping session. If the animatronic catches you looking at r34 of them then you lose.
- UMG Returns - Episode 1: UMG returns to Fantendo to cause havok. However, no one likes him there. So, all of the users proceed to perform some… experiments on him. Sexual experiments. Gameplay includes dunking UMG in a kiddy pool full of jizz, slapping his nose with your dick, and full amiibo support!
- Pusher’s Dick: Pesh and Pashie have their special night! Watch them have sex as you’re forced to do Pesh’s duty as guardian instead.’
- Zario Fucks a Cow: Nuff said.
- Fappissure: Unten strokes his dick everywhere on Zeon and fucks Zerita and Queen Pixella at the same time.
- Underfuck: Unten and Zerita participate in underground orgies.
- Dickbitchie & Aspenpenis: Dorkfishie rapes Aspenpellot because the latter's games sucks.
- Fuckers of Lapis: Instead of fighting, there's sex. Fuck to the finish.
- Fuckers of Lapis 2: This time when you're having sex, glitches happen. Look, there's not as much as I thought I could get out of this material.
- Fuckers of Lapis 3: Tabuu and his giant Aurum penis threaten the whole universe, so it's up to the Fuckers of Lapis before he opens up the black vagina and sucks everyone in.
- Fuckers of Lapis 4: A enemy called the Fingerist wants to finger everyone in the universe so it's up to you to stop him.
- Fuckers of Lapis 5: Ultron with his giant robot cock fucks Homura and makes all the Fuckers of Lapis fuck past versions of themselves.
- Fuckers of Lapis 6: Tabuu's back and this time you gotta fuck to save the future and past and the present. There is so much fucking in this game, holy shit.
- Mariotehplumber’s Sex Life: Mariotehplumber managed to marry Rosalina. Take a peek in his life after this amazing event!
- How Mama Luigi became a Mama: Find out how Mama Luigi got pregnant in this amazing YTP adventure.
- Joel and BonziBUDDY’s Sexual Adenture - Joel and BonziBUDDY have a shit feast of malware and alien jizz. They also have a YTP orgy.
Thomas and Friends series
- Thomas and Percy’s Gay Orgy - Thomas and Percy grow penises, and have sex with the Fat Controller and all the other engines.
Wander Over Yonder series
- The Orgy - Seduce Lord Hater by humping him in the ass and then put your dirty lips on his glowing penis and let him ejaculate in your nomadic mouth.
- The Wet Dream - Wander must collect all the dildos on Penis Planet, and shove them up Sylvia’s anus.
- Pac-Man 69 - Rape your sister and have inbred bastard children.
- Craving Rabbids - The Rabbids discover the Internet, and suffer from penis explosions later on.
- Snap’s Small Penis - Snap must fap to porn all night to get a bigger pee pee. At the end, Snap is revealed to be Rudy’s offspring.
Looney Tunes series
- Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowjob - You must ram Elmer Fudd's head up the Tasmanian Devil's asshole and suck Sylvester's cat dick as well as eat Wile E. Coyote's coyote shit.